Okay, friends, this is gonna be third time lucky on this post.
I’ve written you two letters this week, both have which have been vetoed by my beloved proof readers for— basically— being too bleak. Both went too deep into the dark! Both could not keep away from, like, global horror and personal horror and not in a helpful way, just in a bleak way.
But now, you know? As I write all the fairy lights are on; I have hung a wreath on the front door, which is the first street-facing front door I have ever had to hang a wreath on, and I have tied a beautiful gold velvet ribbon to it (c.f. last Saturday’s letter); and I am writing and drinking tea and watching Single All The Way, the very charming Netflix Christmas romcom. Let us find some ways, here, to be unbleak. Let us go together into the Saturday-ish-ness of it all, and find some Christmas joy if possible. And, if not possible, somewhere warm and safe to hang out before the world comes crashing in again.
It’s been a weird week for me, for reasons I can’t quite pin down. Not bad! Not bad at all! I have been just sort of Getting Through It, and trying to find Christmas spirit, and feeling sometimes like I’ve got it, and sometimes like it’s just gone, like a kind of Christmas ornament thing, where it looks like for example a tin of sparkly sardines but if you were to look underneath you would see it is simply the shell of a tin of sparkly sardines. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, or maybe you get it. Anyway, what this all basically means is that I have been trying real hard to hang onto a list of moments and things this week that have made me feel the Spirit, etc.
The List is one of my main life tools, and I really recommend it. I make a lot of very practical lists, but this List is different: this is a list of good things, and then when you feel bleak you can just take out the list and look at it to remind yourself that the world has stuff in it worth hanging on for. If you are having a tough time, can I suggest making a list? Or actually, if you are having any kind of time! It’s really nice to have a record of what things were good in any given week!
This is my list and maybe some of these things will be useful to you?
I just bought a huge bunch of eucalyptus. It’s like: the exact right amount of a nod to Christmas, but also being really about green and Midwinter and vibes. (Of course, I have also put tinsel on every available surface, so that kind of detracts from the classy Midwinter thing.)
I also bought the cat this little catnip fish and yes, it’s more expensive than some catnip, but truly nothing has ever brought him so much joy. (Apart from, possibly, lying on Rich’s chest with paws tucked around his neck. They love each other so much it’s stupid, honestly. I am a third wheel to their love. I am merely the Dreamies-and-egg-bagel facilitator for those two.)
I’m not going to buy this tartan dress, because it comes from America, and also, much like last week, too literal, and it’s $150 without counting shipping or customs, and I would want to wear it for, like, three weeks a year. But the photo of those two girls linking arms and carrying baskets of mistletoe and gazing into each other’s eyes? I want that romcom. Recommend it to me?
I think I am going to try and make speculaas this weekend from this Felicity Cloake recipe!
If so…should I buy this rolling pin? I long for a rolling pin to emboss into biscuits. But will I use it? Do you have one? Also this one like Moroccan tiles! Or, oh no, any of these.
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